Crash Test Dolmas: A Very Bulgur Holiday

The Husband and I have been staring at this jar of grape leaves in our pantry for about a year now.  I have a tendency to run into weird crap at markets then pick it up with glee because "Husband LOVES dolmas.  I NEED THESE!"

One year later, and yes, its pristine virginal "press here for safety" seal has not been popped nor has a single dolma been created in this domicile:

Truth is, I really do not like the sound of any recipe I've found out there.  Seriously, google it.  You'll find the most random hodgepodge of ingredients from 20 variations of rice to lentils.... and every grain/legume in between.  It's like there is no concurrence on what a "normal dolma" entails.  Another thing that kind of freaks me out about this whole culinary pursuit is the fact that I've had really good dolmas and really bad dolmas, however, nothing in between.  The threat of a 50/50 failure rate sounded rather daunting, but it's time to hike up the big girl spatula... Challenge, ACCEPTED!

When I flip through my gluttonous remembrances of dolmas past, I seem to recall the following attributes to be quite favorable to my palate:

1. Nutty undertones
2. Firm, yet not dry filling 
3. Delicate notes of mint, dill, garlic, and something kind of oniony

On the other hand, here are my key "undesirable" qualities of bad dolmas:

1. Mushy almost kindergarten glue paste consistency
2. Tomato-ey
3. "Surprise" hard chunks both in the leaf as well as in the filling

So, here goes attempt #1 at dolmapacalypse!

Ingredients:

1 cup bulgur

1 cup brown rice, cooked
1/4 cup chopped Raw Walnuts 

2 Scallions

3T Garlic (less if you have a partner with functioning sinus cavities)

1/4 cup chopped fresh Mint and Dill

1/4 cup Parsley 

Ground Black Pepper (to taste)
Sea Salt (to taste)

1/2 Lemon (freshly squeeeeeeezed!)

1T Red Wine Vinegar

1/4 cup Extra Virgin Olive Oil

Grape Leaves

They were all just hanging out seductively on the counter.  I figured a group photo was warranted.

Assembly Instructions:

• I used my Zojirushi rice cooker to prepare my Texas-grown brown rice.  You can do it however you want, you'll just want to yield 1 cup of firm-ish al dente rice.
• Prepare the bulgar and walnuts.  Boil 2c water, pour on 1c bulgar and 1/4 cup chopped raw walnuts, cover, let sit on the counter for about 30 minutes.
• Chop all of the fresh herbs and veggies (Scallions, Mint, Dill, Parsley).  Chuck 'em into the rice cooker (or pan).  Throw in garlic, salt, pepper, lemon, vinegar, oil, the kitchen sink... then fluff in the bulgur/nut mixture with a fork.  Pour in 3/4 cup water then put on medium heat for 25 minutes or however long it takes for the water to boil off/absorb into deliciousness.
• Let the fillin'z cool down in the cooker/pan for about 20 minutes.  It should look a little something like this:

• Once cool enough to handle with your hands, start rolling up the dolma filling into grape leaves.  I used my sushi mat to roll dolmas, however, I heard it is just as easy with waxed paper.
• Throw your babies in the 'fridge with a drazzle of olive oil and let them think about what they've just done.
• NOSH!

This was way more time intensive than I ever would have imagined.  However, I created the perfect texture for my liking and a flavor that was mildly satisfying.  I would like to test different herb mixtures whenever our container garden decides it wants to cooperate!

Much love this holiday season!